Embarrassing level of stubborn resistance has got me

Think about this: I'm running teleclasses about the subject of Resistance (and enjoying them!) but I won't write the newsletter that will announce them! Fortunately Andrea is notifying the Success Team Leaders and I've notified the 35 or so people who were on the Scanner Retreats in Corfu with me in September and October, so people are showing up. But I am watching this unexpected level of resistance with some surprise, not accustomed to feeling a 2-year-old child's level of stubborn, determined, heels-dug-in resistance toward writing the newsletter! No! I will *not* eat my spinach.

I might try to set some possible solutions in place, for example, perhaps omeone else has to write it first, badly, so I become impatient and superior and go about correcting it, and that might get me into the cold water. Once I'm splashing around the problem should be solved.

Or maybe I'll pull out an old one and use it as a template, deleting the content of each section and replacing it with something else. If someone reminds me. If a group of people are hanging around at work waiting to receive it at 5 p.m. so they can go home. If you hold a gun to my head. I don't care, said Pierre.

This is not completely new. I remember my son Matthew, in his teens, tacking a stuffed toy moose to the kitchen door with a sign reading "Write or we kill the moose!"

I should also be recording the rest of the audio tips, and for some reason that avoidane feels different, not stubborn. I'm just dodging it, and for reasons that are easier to understand. It's a little stressful and kind of difficult, not really fun. But recycling the first 21 tips over and over is just so stupid. I have all the equipment. It's easy to set up and maybe that will work for that particular problem.

I'm continuing to be very bad about these things. I guess I'm going to have to interview my Inner Brat.

On the other hand, yesterday I started a HUGE number of blogs, finally, some for projects I want to do, some for love and fun only. I was resisting that for years, and finally was rescued by technology (not for the first time!) because blogger finally took 99% of the frustration out of it, and now it's almost entirely rewarding. Thank you, blogger! I've been tackling blogs at least once a year since you first started, and got nowhere. Now it's actually entertaining!. And some of the blogs might help me overcome some of my resistances.

(Like the kilimwomen too blog might help me with the almost as stubborn resistance I have about sending out photos and describing the meaning of the symbols and the amazing yarns and the Fair Trade, etc. of kilims to help them sell for Xmas.)

I'm good at helping people break through resistance but I have turned out to be a very bad role model, to my shame and surprise. I can pretend it's good and use myself as a guinea pig, like a responsible scientist, but truth is, I should be doing better at this.

Well, dear reader, as my mother used to say, "Don't do as I do, do as I say." That may not be fair, but it's very wise advice. Save yourself! On these issues I'm hopeless and deserve to fry in hell.